Giving when the well is dry…

I was having trouble meditating.  I have Buddhist training and my mind, over the years, heard repeatedly about “Generosity”, the first perfection.  In some of the meditation practices there is an offering made, mentally conjuring up the most beautiful, exquisite things to present them as gifts.  I was finding making the offerings draining and strangely exhausting.  I felt like I was trying to throw something up into the air, when there was nothing to throw and no energy to throw it.  It’s supposed to be joyful!  But then again, it’s meditation, you just keep going.
I started to question this “keep going” strategy.  Is it really appropriate to keep plowing ahead when the enthusiasm and vigour is gone?  I certainly wouldn’t promote this in my medical practice, why would I promote it in a meditation practice?
And, as seems to always happen, I received an answer and more – a type of solution.  A turn-life-on-it’s-head solution [even though I cannot promote looking for solutions].  The whole way I’ve been thinking is out of balance!
The focus on giving, giving and more giving, fails to acknowledge the feminine qualities.  When meditation is part of a routine, something you must do and get done in your day, it becomes another doing, a masculine activity.
I stumbled upon a beautiful teaching on honouring the “Divine Feminine” by receiving; not something to which I was accustomed.  Sure, I can sit with emptiness, and quiet the mind,  but that’s not quite the same as embodying the feminine (but its close).  Now, embodying feminine energy is a regular part of my day.  It is replenishing and balancing; even more, it helps me relax into being here, now and in my body.  It is boundless and abundant.  If you are efforting to manifest, this is an essential, often missing ingredient.
Upon going back to my regular Medicine Buddha practice, I saw that the blue diety has two hands – one hand, positioned in the mudra of generosity offers a healing plants; but the other hand, in the position of meditation, supports an alms (begging) bowl.  A begging bowl signifies that receiving happens.  
Whatever is offered is received and accepted graciously.  This acceptance is part of the feminine aspect of the divine mind.  

“Whatever is offered is received and accepted graciously.  This acceptance is part of the feminine aspect of the divine mind.  “

Dr. Tanya Rampersad, ND

Naturopathic Doctor, Writer, Speaker and Empowered Female

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